Pure Hatred or Pure Determination?

I have alot of hatred in my heart right now. I hate the union officials, the union office and their vile, anti-democratic tyranny.

I never say anything bad about the families of sellouts. But they do it me—and when I seek justice according to our union Constitution, I am silenced. 

I have tolerated their constant threats of violence, jail and termination from these demons for many years. Their false charges to remove me from office before I was sworn in, cemented my right to not give them the benefit of the doubt for anything. I distrust all of them and have no confidence in their leadership qualities. 

But I have no tolerance for slandering my wife—and laughing about it. I will never forget Thomas Morgan laughing about it. He sat next to me. No one called her out of order for attacking my wife. 

They do not help members fight for what members want. They fight members for things that our outlaw employer want. Today's fake contract proposal meeting was a perfect example: They stuffed their faces with hot dogs and burgers as members brought up serious concerns. No lists were made. No compilation of lists from past meetings was provided. 

They blew off the members and argued like good little CTA representatives. Our president openly lied, saying that she did not sign a waiver for our Paid Sick Leave in the last Contract on January 10, 2025. She fed false hope through talk about "mental health days"—an impossible feat as long as she will not pledge to refuse an extension of the waiver (which she denies signing). 

I am seeking Refuge in my Creator because of the anger and rage that is burning in me right now. I know I must redirect the hate and anger into positive efforts. But it's hard. It's really, really hard to focus. 

I have a court hearing against their CTA masters this week. It's so hard to prepare for it right now. I feel like withdrawing my charges and quitting. I feel so hopeless. 

Yet I tell myself to remember the others: All the members who have helped me fight the sellouts and the bosses. All the members who have cried tears of hopelessness—and hate for their tormentors. All the members I stood by while the other union officials abandoned them. 

Members need me to keep fighting. Members need me to stay in the fight until death. I need to stay in it until death. Anything less will display ingratitude to my Creator for the help he sent me through the members. 

My fellow union officials and CTA mismanagers are truly the most evil, insecure humans I have ever encountered in my lifetime. 

I hate them. I hate them all. 

But I will need to get over the hate and focus on the prize: Liberation of Local 308 from CTA control.